Mental Load and Burnout in Working Mums | Understanding Your Beliefs

Mental LoadBurnout

Jan 27

2 min read

The Invisible Load of Being a Working Mum

If you’re a working mum, chances are you’re familiar with the feeling of carrying the invisible weight of your family’s life on your shoulders. You remember every school excursion, who needs new socks, birthday present, grocery list, laundry loads and 100 other things that need to be done.

Remembering, anticipating, planning, organising - an invisible load that’s exhausting.

Why am I the one doing everything

When frustration and stress build up it’s common to look outward at other people’s actions or lack of actions as the main source of your stress – “Why don’t they…..” “How come I have to……” “Is it really that hard to……”

I want you to think about something else first - Your Beliefs

The beliefs you hold now, the ones you brought from your childhood upbringing, societal influences and life experiences—create the lens through which you view responsibility, obligation, self-worth and shapes how much of the mental load you take on and how much it impacts your energy and wellbeing.

When I have these conversations with women, inevitably the conversation will change course to: “Yes BUT my husband/partner doesn’t do/remember/care/see…”

Here’s the thing: while it’s true that partners can step up, the way you perceive and carry the load is always filtered through your beliefs. Beliefs like:

If I don’t do it, it won’t be done properly
He works more than me, so I’m responsible for the home and kids
Because he earns more / works longer hours, it’s my job to handle everything else
I should do it all at home since he’s busy at work
I must remember everything otherwise it won’t get done
I have to be the organiser, planner and reminder for everyone

Over time, carrying these beliefs influence your choices and shapes your actions, reinforcing patterns of over-responsibility that can lead to stress, irritable, exhaustion and burnout.

But beliefs aren’t fixed

They’re learned and they can be changed. But you first have to notice them. Once you do, you can begin to question what you’ve been telling yourself for all of these years.